Over the weekend, I received the following email from a young woman who has attended Mosaic. Consider her circumstances and request, then post your comment. What would you say in response? I'll forward your encouragement to her, along with words of my own. I think she will be encouraged to know so many fellow believers are interested in speaking into her life. Here's what she wrote ...
Hi Mark,
I really don't know why I am writing you but for some reason I feel the need to express my feelings to you (and I don't like to do that often).
I have been trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to do with my life. It seems like lot of Christians know what God's purpose is in their lives and I walk around clueless. I know I am supposed to let everybody else know how great God is and try to expand his kingdom, but I get tongue-tied. I don't know how to tell people why is it that I believe in God (in Jesus) - especially my family.
I was a Hindu and then I became a Christian and I recently got baptized. I have tried to talk to my family about my choice and why they should attend church, but it seems like they cut me off when I try to talk to them. They were mad at me for becoming a Christian and I am afraid that if I talk to them about it, they will abandon me. They are the only family I have in America and I do not care to lose them. Yet I fear that they might be condemned if they do not believe in Jesus.
I just don't know what to do and how to tell people why is it that I believe in Jesus. It's just a feeling I have and I don't know. I don't even know how to write all this to you. I am hoping you can somehow help me out. It's so strange because I am surrounded by people; yet I feel alone. Probably because I am so worried about my family and doing the right thing. I don't know if you can help me or not, but maybe you can give me some guidance.
Thanks.
So, what would you say?
I would point her to 1 Peter 3.1-6 and draw an analogy between the profound influence a wife can have on her husband and the profound influence a child can have on her parents, all without words. Peter says an unbelieving husband can be "won over without words" and I believe the same is true of parents whom we are to honor. This is not to say that words are not important, but those come later when they observe her life and ask her to give the reason for the hope that she has (1 Peter 3.13-15). It would seem that in a culture where family is so very important this instruction of Peter would be very applicable.
Posted by: Jonathan Seda | May 27, 2008 at 08:23 AM
This is what I would do if I were in her shoes.
I would continue to worship Christ and since the family is so offensive about it I would not talk to them about Christ. But I would continue to read Bible, pray and attend the church.
Second, she has to make it clear why she became a Christian when her family confronts her. Since she does not know how to do this, maybe you or someone must teach her how to talk about it from her life.
Third, a strong counseling is necessary to help explain to her the hardship we face often when accepting Christ and patiently pray for the family and win them to Christ. It will be tough at times, but God will help her through those difficult days. She does not need to fear she will lose the family because she is not leaving them but sticking with them. Only when it comes to worship she is separate.
Also the family of God is bigger than the family she has now and she should be taught this and otherwise encouraged by your counseling.
Posted by: Arjuna Chiguluri | May 28, 2008 at 04:03 PM
I would agree with the above two comments. I would stress the importance of her not being alone in this perceived problem. That a great number of brothers and sisters have felt this same sense of separation, if only spiritually, if not emotionally/physically from family members unlinked with them by Christ.
Most important would be to encourage a meeting with a mature believer (preferably older woman, per Titus 2) and to nurture the strength, knowledge, and needs that this young believer has.
Encouragement to take heart that there is one who sticks closer than a brother is also a comfort.
Posted by: Joseph Utter | May 29, 2008 at 12:21 AM
First and foremost, praise God for her courage!! Her courage to ask the hard questions, and her courage to stand for Christ, even in the midst of possible rejection from her family.
Secondly, she needs to understand for herself "why" she believes. We can never give to someone something we do not have ourselves. So I would ask: why did you leave Hinduism and make a choice for Christ? What was it about the message of the Gospel? I would also suggest studying a bit of apologetics [Josh McDowell for example]. So that she may always be prepared to give an answer to those that ask about the hope she has.
Third, become apart of the church community. Volunteer within areas of interest, find the place you fit. Become apart of a small group. The Body of Christ is the family of Christ. You bring your gifts and talents together with other people and the Body is represented. We are all different parts, but ONE body.
Fourth, share this with a trusted group so that these other believers, or family members, can join with you in prayer for your biological family. But please realize that the moment you became a Christ follower, you inherited millions of brothers and sisters all across this planet ... and we would all love to pray for you and your family.
And finally, cry out to God on behalf of your family. God is the only one that can change a heart. Ask him for clear direction, and clear times of opportunity to witness or to be a witness to your family. I believe it was St. Francis of Assisi that said, "Preach the Gospel and when necessary use words." More can be gained by the life you live, the freedom in Christ that you have, the joy and hope in your life then mere words. Let your family see the Light of the Risen Savior in you. Be Salt. Be Light.
My prayers are with you dear sister, please keep fighting the good fight. Your Heavely Father is not through with you yet [smiles]
Posted by: Dynitta | June 05, 2008 at 10:44 AM
First of all, thank you for responding. It seems as though I should just let God do His work in his own time, which is the problem I have. I am working on being patient and not doing his work. I think I am getting better, but it just seems difficult to do that. Why is it so hard to let god control all the aspects of my life? is it just me, or does everyone struggle with that? it seems as though I give up my problems to God and then, if i don't see any results in a few days, I want to take those back and try to solve it. it's a constant and exhausting battle.
Posted by: Anonymous | June 06, 2008 at 07:53 AM